A few weeks ago, I turned 25. No big deal, I know, but honestly? I freaked out a little.
Twenty five isn’t old. At all. (Hear that, rapidly multiplying grays? You can stop! I’m not old!) What I was freaking out about is the fact that I’m nowhere near where I thought I’d be by now. Admittedly, a lot of that was teenage naïveté. Some of it also has to do with the east coast Acadian town where I grew up. By now, I fully expected to be married and on my way to a stable career and the white picket fence. (There was going to be a dog in the yard and that might be my biggest disappointment here, folks.)
As circumstances would have it, none of those things are currently under my belt. (Once again, the dog may be the biggest disappointment.) Don’t get me wrong — I wish I was on the way to a bright, shiny career in who-knows-what — but I’m not. And I’m learning to be OK with that.
So I turned 25, and it got me thinking, as birthdays usually do. For me, New Year’s resolutions feel diluted by the fact that we make them in droves. The intention is good, but the big joke about New Year’s resolutions is that they don’t stick.
Personally, I’m far more motivated to set resolutions for my own New Year — my new self, as it were. Anyone who’s been faced with a life-changing chronic illness knows what I’m talking about. After the grief and the anger pass, there needs to be acceptance. I suppose I lucked out in that this stage of things coincided nicely with my birthday and, just this Monday, the arrival of my WHEELCHAIR. Add beautiful Spring weather, and I’m raring to go make myself a better me — and live a life that brings me joy despite my limitations.
Grosso modo, if I have to have only one resolution, it’s basically just to adjust to a new way of living while learning to be myself within this new way of living. This doesn’t sound like much, but I’m a doer, people. And when a doer is unable to do most things for several months, they go nuts-nuts-nuts. Trust me.
Monday night, I went to the mall. Because I finally have a wheelchair for those outings, I was able to go for a short walk with my rollator on Tuesday. And then, on Tuesday night, I made chicken. I know none of this sounds like a big deal, but guys, raw chicken FREAKS. ME. OUT. Uncooked skinless boneless chicken breasts? Gross. But I found a recipe, and then I made the chicken, including handling it with my very own hands, and it was really friggin’ good.
It may not sound like a big deal, but I accomplished something and I’m choosing to be proud of myself so I can continue to make delicious chicken. (Would you believe I once didn’t eat meat for over seven years? Yup.)
Today I painted my nails and this morning, I took the plunge and purchased both Make Over Your Mornings and Make Over Your Evenings (both online courses by moneysavingmom.com). I’ve read so many rave reviews of Mornings, Evenings launched today at a special price, and with a fresh tax return in my bank account…I couldn’t help myself and got both! I’m hoping these 14-day courses will live up to all the hype and help me take back control of my life.
Yeah. Learning to be myself again. I think I like that as a resolution. How about you?